 | Melanie is an Emotional Freedom Technique practitioner and Personal Development Coach. She helps people tap into their Big Vision, clearing the underlying blocks that prevent people from living the life of their dreams. An optimist by nature, she loves to help people achieve the greatness that lies within us all. We have invited Melanie to guest blog about how to deal with all the different stresses you may have leading up to your French Wedding from a professional point of view. |
Goodbye Bridezilla and Hello Blissed out Bride
Congratulations on your forthcoming big day! Sometimes amidst all the noise, busyness and arrangements, when it comes to planning the biggest day of your life, the stress, worry and overwhelm can overtake the shine from what can be such an exciting time. Wedding planning becomes a full time affair and can literally consume your every thought.
For most brides to be, the excitement starts from day one after the engagement. From my own personal experience, I liken it to the gun firing at the starting line of a race, Ready, Steady, Go !
Find THE dress, find THE Venue, make the guest list (day and evening), find a cake maker, buy every bridal magazine you can get your hands on, re-write the guest list, favours, flowers, canapés, invitations, the colour theme, live band or disco? This is just for starters!! For most brides this is a heady exciting time, you have probably been saving for a long time, or you may be lucky enough to have generous parents or in-laws who are willing to foot the bill.
Just. So. Exciting!!
It can be exciting to have a big budget to play with – or perhaps it is the complete opposite, maybe finances are bringing up their own emotions, maybe you can’t afford the big day you have dreamed of, maybe you are suffering from comparisonitis - perhaps you fear that your own day won’t match up to your friends, this may leave you feeling a bit sad and disappointed.
Lost in all this noise for many brides to be is the fact that this is the day you will be making the vows to your beloved soul mate, declaring your love in front of your nearest and dearest and beginning a union with your partner, in a wonderful new chapter of your life. Whether or not religion is involved, this is a deeply spiritual day and one which will provide you with a lifetime of memories.
Rewind 13 years ago in the lead up to my own big day, I remember having many sleepless nights over all aspects of my wedding, I remember trying to find long range weather forecasts a month ahead, I joined the gym in a bid to get to my ideal weight, and a week before the wedding I suddenly felt the need to order a second wedding cake for the evening do, I was seriously losing the plot! Fortunately my husband bought me to my senses (shame though as I had always wanted a Croquembouche) .
For most brides to be, the excitement starts from day one after the engagement. From my own personal experience, I liken it to the gun firing at the starting line of a race, Ready, Steady, Go !
Find THE dress, find THE Venue, make the guest list (day and evening), find a cake maker, buy every bridal magazine you can get your hands on, re-write the guest list, favours, flowers, canapés, invitations, the colour theme, live band or disco? This is just for starters!! For most brides this is a heady exciting time, you have probably been saving for a long time, or you may be lucky enough to have generous parents or in-laws who are willing to foot the bill.
Just. So. Exciting!!
It can be exciting to have a big budget to play with – or perhaps it is the complete opposite, maybe finances are bringing up their own emotions, maybe you can’t afford the big day you have dreamed of, maybe you are suffering from comparisonitis - perhaps you fear that your own day won’t match up to your friends, this may leave you feeling a bit sad and disappointed.
Lost in all this noise for many brides to be is the fact that this is the day you will be making the vows to your beloved soul mate, declaring your love in front of your nearest and dearest and beginning a union with your partner, in a wonderful new chapter of your life. Whether or not religion is involved, this is a deeply spiritual day and one which will provide you with a lifetime of memories.
Rewind 13 years ago in the lead up to my own big day, I remember having many sleepless nights over all aspects of my wedding, I remember trying to find long range weather forecasts a month ahead, I joined the gym in a bid to get to my ideal weight, and a week before the wedding I suddenly felt the need to order a second wedding cake for the evening do, I was seriously losing the plot! Fortunately my husband bought me to my senses (shame though as I had always wanted a Croquembouche) .
I wish that I had known back then about the wonderful therapy that is Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT or Tapping as it is also known. Tapping/ EFT works on clearing negative emotions, bringing the emotions into balance and instilling positive emotions instead. It can best be described as acupuncture coupled with modern day psychology, instead of needles we use our fingers to tap on specific meridian points on our face and body. For a more detailed explanation of EFT, please watch my YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sYgj_M4baA So have a think about the emotions that may be governing your life in the lead up to your wedding, if they were anything like mine they were something like this; overwhelm (there is just so much to organise), worry (I haven’t invited my second cousin, will they be offended?), anxiety (what if one of the band members falls ill on the night?), insomnia (lying awake worrying about the 30% chance of rain in three weeks time), annoyance (why is my fiancé not as excited about the flowers as me?). Each of these emotions can be cleared in a few minutes with short rounds of tapping, it is fantastically easy to learn and it can be used whenever you feel these emotions arising.
EFT can help with other deeper rooted emotions that could arise in the lead up to the wedding; grief that a parent may not be there to see your big day, more deeper rooted fears such as “am I doing the right thing?” or “my parents marriage ended in divorce and I’m scared this will happen to me too” EFT can clear these dark thoughts that may be eating away at you. It really is an effective all round healing modality.
Here are some of Melanie's Top tips for a stress free wedding.
1. Take a piece of paper and write out the words: It is the end of the day on (your wedding date), I have just had the BEST DAY EVER…and continue to write out how your perfect day panned out – so it could go something like this – I have just had the BEST DAY EVER, this morning I woke up to the most beautifully sunny morning, I had an amazing night’s sleep and I woke up feeling amazing, energised and filled with excitement. My hair and makeup was perfect, and getting ready with my bridesmaids was such fun. When I looked in the mirror after I put my dress on, I felt sensational and I truly felt beautiful…as I walked up the aisle, I felt such joy and really felt the love, warmth and affection of my friends and family, as I looked into (husband’s name) eyes, the intensity of the love I felt for him overwhelmed me…..our reception was wonderful, the food was delicious, everything looked perfect…I had such fun in the evening, it just felt magical…I have just had the best day of my life.
Be really detailed with every aspect of your perfect day – writing is a very powerful tool, it gets you visualising your perfect day, and invokes the positive excited feelings you should have surrounding your day. Get into the habit of reading this perfect day script every night in the run up to your wedding. Do not underestimate the power of your mind and visualising – top athletes do it to enhance their performance, why shouldn’t you do it for the most important day of your life.
2. Delegate tasks, people love to help, so enlist the help of friends and family, don’t do everything yourself. Consider hiring a wedding planner who will take care of the details of your day.
3. When you feel yourself worrying about things that are completely out of your control, like the weather, or the vicar falling ill, ask yourself, is there anything I can do about this? Will worrying about this make it less likely to happen? The answer is NO! So stop worrying.
4. Learn the basics of Emotional Freedom Technique, so that whenever any of these negative emotions arise, you can quickly release them from your energy system and concentrate your efforts on the fun stuff instead. Trust that everything will turn out wonderfully, worry less, trust more – EFT will help you do this.
5. RELAX!!! When it all gets too much, just stop, take five really deep breaths. Just know that you are going to have a wonderful day.
1. Take a piece of paper and write out the words: It is the end of the day on (your wedding date), I have just had the BEST DAY EVER…and continue to write out how your perfect day panned out – so it could go something like this – I have just had the BEST DAY EVER, this morning I woke up to the most beautifully sunny morning, I had an amazing night’s sleep and I woke up feeling amazing, energised and filled with excitement. My hair and makeup was perfect, and getting ready with my bridesmaids was such fun. When I looked in the mirror after I put my dress on, I felt sensational and I truly felt beautiful…as I walked up the aisle, I felt such joy and really felt the love, warmth and affection of my friends and family, as I looked into (husband’s name) eyes, the intensity of the love I felt for him overwhelmed me…..our reception was wonderful, the food was delicious, everything looked perfect…I had such fun in the evening, it just felt magical…I have just had the best day of my life.
Be really detailed with every aspect of your perfect day – writing is a very powerful tool, it gets you visualising your perfect day, and invokes the positive excited feelings you should have surrounding your day. Get into the habit of reading this perfect day script every night in the run up to your wedding. Do not underestimate the power of your mind and visualising – top athletes do it to enhance their performance, why shouldn’t you do it for the most important day of your life.
2. Delegate tasks, people love to help, so enlist the help of friends and family, don’t do everything yourself. Consider hiring a wedding planner who will take care of the details of your day.
3. When you feel yourself worrying about things that are completely out of your control, like the weather, or the vicar falling ill, ask yourself, is there anything I can do about this? Will worrying about this make it less likely to happen? The answer is NO! So stop worrying.
4. Learn the basics of Emotional Freedom Technique, so that whenever any of these negative emotions arise, you can quickly release them from your energy system and concentrate your efforts on the fun stuff instead. Trust that everything will turn out wonderfully, worry less, trust more – EFT will help you do this.
5. RELAX!!! When it all gets too much, just stop, take five really deep breaths. Just know that you are going to have a wonderful day.
Melanie offers one to one sessions via Skype, she is kindly offering readers of Brides in France 20% off a consultation (£76 instead of £95). Please contact Melanie using the voucher code BIF23615EFT. To contact Melanie please click here.
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